Zombies: a theory.

"CalzoneGolem" (calzonegolem) 10/12/2015 at 14:43 • Filed to: None

0

40

OK, so hear me out.

In Zombie movies and series like The Walking Dead I don’t understand how they can go on for such long periods of time. Zombies are mobile rotting corpses. Their structural integrity is going to breakdown over time and flies are going to make maggots in them like no tomorrow. Clouds of flies would follow them around.

It seems like if you just wait it out a couple months a large portion of the original zombie population will be degraded to the point of exploding and becoming puddles of soup.

Let’s talk about pre-existing corpses at the point of zombiefication. These bodies are embalmed all those chemicals have to make them difficult to turn at the very least. I would say an zombie event would not affect the buried corpses.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > CalzoneGolem 10/12/2015 at 14:48

0

Well, sure, if you’re dealing with a remotely rational biological zombie apocalypse and not one caused by necromancers. Embalming or tissue degradation ain’t shit to negative energy, yo. #D&D

Chariotoflove > CalzoneGolem 10/12/2015 at 14:51

0

Wouldn’t they gain sustenance from the victims they chomp? That would presuppose some kind of metabolism, thus the designation of “undead” instead of “dead” and the stereotypical feeding behavior. I don’t know the ground rules for the Walking Dead series though. I don’t watch the show.

CalzoneGolem > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 10/12/2015 at 14:52

0

A valid point as always. Don’t need no flesh left for the necromancer magic to do its thang.

DoYouEvenShift > CalzoneGolem 10/12/2015 at 14:53

1

Also consider that most of them wont “eat. And after a couple days, will collapse and continue to rot.

CalzoneGolem > Chariotoflove 10/12/2015 at 14:56

1

I don’t watch it either but if the zombies were feeding on people I imagine there wouldn’t be much left to become a zombie when they were done.

Sam > CalzoneGolem 10/12/2015 at 14:57

0

If you roll high enough, it probably doesn’t even have to have been animate at all.

CalzoneGolem > DoYouEvenShift 10/12/2015 at 14:57

1

That’s another fair point they need to get energy somehow.

CalzoneGolem > Sam 10/12/2015 at 14:59

1

I’m fully aware that you can make a magical construct out of inanimate objects like say a golem made out of ... oh I don’t know ... calzones of something.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > CalzoneGolem 10/12/2015 at 15:01

2

That’s the thing though. They aren’t really dead until you remove their heads. They are undead...and that’s different.

Also, I would think that aftert a few months, they would start to dry out and sound more like leaves or dry corn husks shuffling in the breeze....almost silent, since their vocal cords would have also done the same....silent...As you walk through the woods on your return to the compound, the absolute silence was more terrifying than anything you had faced in the beginning of the outbreak. The silence means that you were almost certainly being watched.

The absolute silence was worse. It came to a point after the first outbreaks that the cries and moans of the freshly dead, the dying and the ones who had lsimply not been able to cope had become the default background sounds after all of the services had stopped. It wasn’t reassuring by any measure, but it had, in its own way, become the default. You heard it, and it didn’t worry you as long as it wasn’t right in your face. It was the new normal. In the days that passed, the stench died down. The smells faded and so did the sounds, but now, it was worse. The walkers and their bone dry teeth and leathery hides were almost as quiet as a soft spring breeze. The only sign that they were there at all was the sound of the rags that had once been their clothes catching on the debris that surrounded them....The only thoughts that I could manage after having made it this far is “Why won’t they stop? They never stop. They don’t need rest, but I do.” And that was the worst of it now.

When I find a place, even back in the relative security of my compund, that I can attempt to sleep, the quiet becomes the loudest thing imaginable.

Chariotoflove > CalzoneGolem 10/12/2015 at 15:02

1

Good point. Maybe they get full easily? Tissue does lose its elasticity after death (including stomach tissue), especially so if it’s embalmed. Maybe it’s like an automatic lap-band? Come to think of it, you don’t see many fat zombies.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Chariotoflove 10/12/2015 at 15:03

0

If you posit some kind of really clever secondary organism like a fungus, it could be animating a thoroughly “dead” corpse, as long as it was either forming complex structures for movement as it ate tissue or using muscle fibers/etc. until they were spent. In fact, given that a lot of fungi don’t mind embalming substances at all, that could work pretty well. I think most zombie fic including TWD cheats by going with a semi-dead scenario, though - basically whole tissue groups dead and dying, but the body refusing to shut down. So, a metabolism if a very, very slowed one, and enough “life” to impede the onset of decay, but the system failing to keep up should still lead to a dieoff eventually.

CalzoneGolem > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 10/12/2015 at 15:03

0

Even a minor cut left untreated can become infected and fester. Jerky’d muscles wouldn’t really move so well.

CalzoneGolem > Chariotoflove 10/12/2015 at 15:04

2

The newest fad diet!

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > CalzoneGolem 10/12/2015 at 15:08

1

I often fantasise about a zombie apocalypse and what I’d do, and I’m sure the hows and whys of zombie longevity would be close to bottom on my survival list. Currently I’m at; grab my machete, splitting maul, felling axe and lightest chainsaw, strap them to my back in a badass cross shape, put my forestry helmet on and chainsaw clothing, get in the Defender, get lots of diesel, aim for the countryside... Survive? That’s about as far as I’ve got.

Chariotoflove > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 10/12/2015 at 15:10

0

Yeah, that’s kind of like the T-virus situation in Resident Evil . So, you have some precedence in the literature for your hypothesis. Although, the fast zombies like you see in 28 Days Later did burn themselves out due to fast metabolisms. Of course, there are documented physiological differences between fast and slow zombie variants .

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > CalzoneGolem 10/12/2015 at 15:12

1

When there is no logical explanation, default to magic as the answer. Zombies are magical, kind of like unicorns, only less rainbows and more rot.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Chariotoflove 10/12/2015 at 15:14

1

I think The Last of Us brought in fungus, and I was like “What took you so long?”. Given the precedent of the fungus that messes with ants, it was pretty inevitable.

CalzoneGolem > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 10/12/2015 at 15:15

0

I plan on staying right at home. Board everything up and wait it out as best as we can.

Chariotoflove > CalzoneGolem 10/12/2015 at 15:16

1

Well it’s got more science behind it than many others I’ve read!

jariten1781 > CalzoneGolem 10/12/2015 at 15:16

0

Some zombie mythos take that into account and the best way to survive is just hole up and wait 30 ish days for them all to putrify and die.

Then you’ve got the zombification source to manage. Live virus? You’re good. Fungus or microorganism that can go inactive, gotta be careful with the bodies, quarantine the cities and purge the countryside with fire (if it can’t go airborne in the smoke) and you may be good. Supernatural, you’re probably fucked unless you can find the creator (alien, summoner, ancient God, other dimensional being, whatever) and squelch it.

CalzoneGolem > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 10/12/2015 at 15:16

0

Beautifully written by the way.

Chariotoflove > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 10/12/2015 at 15:17

0

I’d never heard of that game. Interesting!

CalzoneGolem > jariten1781 10/12/2015 at 15:17

0

Killing a lich is a bitch.

Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. > CalzoneGolem 10/12/2015 at 15:19

1

Thank you. It’s better to do than the work I actually have to do.

4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 > CalzoneGolem 10/12/2015 at 15:19

0

Oh yeh. ‘We’. I’d grab my dogs too.

DoYouEvenShift > CalzoneGolem 10/12/2015 at 15:20

0

Same here. Ive got enough rounds to hold them back for a while if I have to. But the best plan is to lock down, stay quiet, and wait it out.

But, I dont really keep up with zombie mythology to know any better.

Also, an excellent deterent IMO would be tons of marbles around your house.

CalzoneGolem > Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast. 10/12/2015 at 15:20

0

I hear that brother.

CalzoneGolem > 4muddyfeet - bare knuckle with an EZ30 10/12/2015 at 15:21

0

Of course, I would never have thought you wouldn’t.

CalzoneGolem > DoYouEvenShift 10/12/2015 at 15:22

0

Ah, the old Kevin McAllister approach!

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > CalzoneGolem 10/12/2015 at 15:31

0

I think you’re right about pre-existing corpses in a realistic, non-magical world. But what if that zombie-fungus stuff mutated and started aggressively attacking humans? Like the game “Last of Us”. Then they would be living zombies. That’s the only way they make sense and seem like any sort of threat if you ask me. Otherwise they’re just too slow and likely to fall apart.

CalzoneGolem > AMGtech - now with more recalls! 10/12/2015 at 15:51

0

Any instance where the zombiefication transfers via air or something we are fucked.

Tapas > CalzoneGolem 10/12/2015 at 16:47

0

Not to mention the premise itself. Death entails a variety of non-functioning organs. By a variety, I mean all organs.

To control any body and move it from within, you need a live body. Living eyes, nose and ears to sense things, functioning brain to control things, etc.

This is unless a parasitic disease takes over a live body.

In that case, your argument comes into play. And so do other diseases that come along with the kind of open untreated wounds. Do such infections fight the parasitic disease?

Other things that never make it into zombie stories is pooping, peeing drinking fluids...and most importantly - lack of cannibalism among zombies. Because what do they care if its a brain from a live person or dead/infected person?!

Tapas > CalzoneGolem 10/12/2015 at 16:50

0

Calzone Golem?

Well thanks a lot! Now I’m aroused and hungry.

Before this, I was only aroused....there’s something about the stench and small stature thats just irresistable. :D

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > CalzoneGolem 10/12/2015 at 17:19

1

Not before half the population lets loose their best fangirl “SQUUUUEEEEE!!!!”

Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > Chariotoflove 10/12/2015 at 18:41

1

Only fat zombie I remember right off the bat.

Chariotoflove > Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection 10/12/2015 at 18:46

0

Now that was a good zombie flick.

f86sabre > CalzoneGolem 10/12/2015 at 18:49

1

I thought the WWZ book handled it well by having them freeze. Cool concept. If they still had moisture in them freezing would be a problem.

Nauraushaun > CalzoneGolem 10/12/2015 at 22:39

1

This did happen in 28 Days/Weeks Later, but due to starvation more than degredation. Both are legitimate issues.

http://28dayslater.wikia.com/wiki/The_Infec…

While the Infected do eventually die from starvation (due to the immense and single-minded rage towards the uninfected that the Rage Virus causes causing a disregard for self-nourishment), they seem to be able to last longer than uninfected individuals without nutrition, to the point that the Infected can last for up to eight weeks or less before becoming too weak to move. ( 28 Days Later (film) , 28 Weeks Later )

I’ve been watching The Walking Dead, it doesn’t seem to handle degredation/starvation at all. Though the zombies do seem to actually eat - one guy is shown hanging from a tree, his legs mostly missing due to being eaten.

CalzoneGolem > Tapas 10/13/2015 at 07:47

0

I would assume that the zombies would just kinda let it go as they went along.

CalzoneGolem > Tapas 10/13/2015 at 07:48

0

Are you calling me short?